My top 9 goals from the 2010 World Cup
Now we have four long, long, looooooong years to figure out a plan to get to Brasil for the next World Cup. Currently, mine includes a wildly successful blackjack run in Vegas, aggressive birth control and three rolls of duct tape.
In the meantime, let us savor the best goals of the 2010 version.
(Note: FIFA is run by aging fucktards who have blocked most of its content to YouTube. Smart! I mean, the last thing you would want is for people to be sharing the greatness of your event. Heavens, no. These are the best vids I could find.)
No. 9 — LANDON DONOVAN VS. SLOVENIA
The roof is on fiya!
No. 8 — LUIS SUAREZ VS. CHILE
One of the best goals of the tourney AND the greatest red card ever. Nice little tourney, Luis. (But if you sign with Man U, you are DEAD TO ME.)
No. 7 — SIPHIWE TSHABALALA VS. MEXICO
I love this announcer. VUNDERBAAAAAR!!!
No. 6 — MAICON VS. NORTH KOREA
Whatever, Maicon. Kim Jong Il as scored, like, 47 goals better than that.
No. 5 — MICHAEL BRADLEY VS. SLOVENIA
Still makes me all warm and fuzzy.
No. 4 — CARLOS TEVEZ VS. MEXICO
I like how the baby starts cheering at the end. That’s strong parenting!
No. 3 — GIOVANNI VAN BRONCKHORST VS. URUGUAY
If only the ball worked like that more often. Dammit.
No. 2 — DIEGO FORLAN VS. GERMANY
I have no idea how the physics even work here. (Actually, I have no idea about physics at all, but this is still an absurd goal.)
No. 1 — LANDON DONOVAN VS. ALGERIA
Goose. Bumps.
